A Blessing and A Curse, No. 2: Mothering with Type 1 Diabetes

In this second installment of the interview series, it is my pleasure to welcome Cheryl, who I met on Facebook through our mutual friend Justine of Full Belly Sisters. Though I initially intended to focus on physical disabilities, I decided to expand my scope after learning that Cheryl has Type 1 Diabetes. Managing a medical condition in the midst of the busy work of parenting is a significant challenge, and maybe more so than a physical disability! 

Cheryl, with her husband Brandon and sons, Brett, Ian and yet-to-be-born Troy

I am a 33 year old wife to my husband Brandon and mom of three wonderful boys- Brett (6), Ian (3) and Troy (6 weeks). We live in Valencia, California which is about 40 miles north of Los Angeles.  Being a full-time mom is my favorite job, but I do share it with my full-time working job at Medtronic Diabetes.  Medtronic is the manufacturer of the insulin pump (more to come on that later). I am a training and education specialist which means I work to develop programs that educate physicians on the insulin pump and continuous glucose monitoring.  When I am not at the office,  I am often at a ballfield, park, or activity with my rambunctious boys.  However, I do love to sneak away for a mani/pedi and a glass of wine with my fabulous girlfriends or steal a moment with my DVR to watch bad reality tv.

What is Type 1 Diabetes?

For people without diabetes, their bodies regulate blood sugar through the work of insulin, which is a hormone secreted from the pancreas.  For people living with Type 1 Diabetes our bodies no longer produce insulin and we must take it by injection, or in my case, via insulin pump.

On Pregnancy and Managing Type 1 Diabetes

I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when I was five years old and while my diabetes hasn't caused me any physical limitations, (although diabetes can offer these for others) there is a unique dynamic to parenting with a medical condition.  This starts from the moment I find out I am pregnant.  It is imperative that I stay in perfect condition while pregnant to ensure that my baby develops correctly and has a healthy environment in which to dwell.  This is where the stress begins- which definitely feels funny to say because we moms know that is the tip of the iceberg and you will spend the rest of your life worrying about them- so I will say "added" stress.  I wear an insulin pump and have since I was 21.  I was hesitant to go on a pump and the only thing that really sealed it for me was being told that if I ever wanted to have babies I should definitely be on one, so now it was time to put that to the test.  I also wear a continuous glucose sensor as well and together these two devices make managing diabetes through pregnancy easier.  Wearing a pump and sensor does mean that I have two "sites" on my body; one is where my pump is infusing insulin into my body throughout the day and another where the sensor is detecting my glucose and sending that data over to the pump every five minutes.  My pump has a 23 inch thin tubing that connects it to my body. While I would never describe either as a "physical" disability because the control that I have with these two devices is amazing, there is a physical component to wearing a medical device externally.  

Balancing Parenting and Self-Care

The other side to all of this is my diet and exercise.  I do have to watch what I eat normally, but wearing a pump makes this much easier.  However when I am pregnant, I need to be extra careful, making sure to keep my diet in check so that my blood sugars remain in perfect control.

Whew! So now, I have had 3 successful pregnancies and delivered 3 healthy boys.  And this fortune is not lost on me because not so long ago it was difficult for women with Type 1 Diabetes to have children, but my team of doctors who see me CONSTANTLY have helped make these boys possible.  Being a mom means your kids come first and a big struggle is that they often do which means “where does mom fit in?”  Having diabetes means I have to check my blood sugars, eat when I need to, and I do at times have potentially scary low blood sugars.  But in the world of mommyhood sometimes these things are missed or I have to tell my boys that I need to take a break or eat a snack when perhaps I have just told them "nothing else till dinner."  As a matter of fact it happened today, I made mac and cheese for my three year old and then needed to nurse my newborn.  Lo and behold, I forgot to eat and we ran errands.  I came home starving and ate (read: inhaled) some of the leftover mac and cheese.  Then Troy needed to be fed.  Long story short, I forgot to give myself the insulin I needed for the food I ate and upon dinner time I discovered that my blood sugars were way too high.  

Confronting the Risks

There are two tough parts to having diabetes. One is that in mothering, one tends to put themselves last and with diabetes, you really have to put yourself first.  What good are you as a mom if you are not healthy? There are several long term complications of diabetes- blindness, renal failure, loss of circulation- and those are scary things.  If you don't manage your diabetes well, these are a very real reality.  

Another is that diabetes is on the rise- both Type 1 and Type 2.  Type 1 is described as autoimmune, usually called Juvenile Diabetes because most develop it before the age of 25.  This makes up 10% of the population of people with diabetes.  Type 2, or adult onset, makes up the other 90% and is the type more people are familiar with.  Type 2 has a genetic component but it also triggered by poor diet and not maintaining a healthy weight.  It's very common for my kids to hear that someone’s grandparent died of diabetes, or that they had to have a limb amputated as a result of diabetes, and this can be scary for them.  They also ask if they will get diabetes (my children have a less than 5% chance of developing diabetes).  It's a tough thing to teach young kids about when there is a lot of negative media coverage around diabetes.

Understanding and Empathy

A huge positive is how normal they think it is!  I love that they know about my pump and understand why I wear it.  I feel like that makes them more understanding of other people’s medical conditions.  I use it as a teaching tool all the time.  When they ask about someone’s wheelchair for example, I will tell them "just like mommy has her pump, they need their wheelchair to make them feel better."  They usually say "oh, ok" and it seems to really make sense to them.  Recently in my sons’ youth group one of the mothers had a daughter diagnosed with Type 1 and she had come to talk to me.  She was understandably upset and my son saw her start to cry.  He came up and I explained the situation. With the most genuine smile he said "it's ok, we have diabetes in our family and my mommy wears her pump and is super healthy!"  It was so sweet and I loved that he acknowledged the positives in it.  

The new big brothers!

The Burden of Diabetes and Stealing Cookies

I do find that as my sons get older I get concerned from time to time about them developing diabetes.  When they are sick or acting funny,  I have been known to take out my glucometer and check their blood sugars.  My six year old now cries when he is sick because I am likely to poke him.  I also know as they get older I will have to teach them further about the disease and more of the scarier parts that could, even though I work hard to prevent them, happen to me.  I know they will learn more about it, or hear negative, ignorant comments such as "your mom has diabetes because she is fat," or something to that extent.  While I have never had a low enough glucose  that I have not been able to treat it, it can happen.  I know of so many stories of kids having to call 911 for their parents with hypoglycemia and that is such an awful thought.  No parent wants to be a burden on their child, but having a medical condition makes me worry about that even more.

Right now the biggest struggle is hiding in the pantry, sneaking something sweet because my blood sugars are low and being caught.  Then comes the "No fair, why do you get a cookie and not me?!"  Now my blood sugars are low AND I am battling with a six year old over the "fairness" of a cookie!  

Thank you to Cheryl for her participation.  I learned so much about Type 1 Diabetes from this interview. If you'd like to know more about Type 1 and Type 1 Diabetes, here is some more information from the American Diabetes Association.  

For the first installment in this series, in which I interviewed my friend Candace about being a deaf mother, go here: http://realnani.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-blessing-and-curse-no-1.html

If you'd like to be interviewed for this series, just leave your contact info in the comments. Thanks! 

Slice of Life #3

{Don't forget to enter the giveaway for a free copy of The Good Mother Myth! See that post here: http://realnani.blogspot.com/2014/01/GoodMotherMyth.html}

This weekend, Micah and I snuck away to Northampton for the express purpose of attending the book release party for The Good Mother Myth but I admit, the prospect of flying solo with only one, extremely portable, baby in tow was pretty exciting. Micah came along because he's good company and well, we're literally attached at the hip and boob. Together, we wound our way up 84 and 91, battling the cluster-eff that is Hartford traffic on a Friday, and of course, it didn't dawn on me until it was too late that I should've left Redding MUCH earlier because of the long weekend. But my road weariness was combatted by a warm welcome at Sovina and Mike's, and aromatic chicken from Great Wall. (You'd think good Chinese would be hard to come by in a small town like Northampton but you'd be so wrong.) 

After dinner, Sovina and I headed out, with Micah in tow, to the book release party at Hinge on Main Street. The place was packed to the rafters with supporters of and contributors to this wonderful collection of writing featuring an impressive roster of feminist names, and how awesome that my friend Tara is among them, and that my friend Tamara was the official photographer for the event. I was pleased as punch to run into some NoHo and Greenfield friends, including my IRL friend and fellow blogger, NJ. 

I don't know how I never noticed this before but before apparently, in crowded NoHo bars, thirsty people line up, all civilized-like, at the bar, to order instead of wedging themselves between two barflies to flag down a bartender. (By the way, did you catch that scene in Girls when Shoshana's new man friend takes two beers from behind the bar? Never happen in real life without a beat down, never.) 

After the readings were said and done, and Micah clearly had enough of the loud scene, we headed back to Sovina's for pajamas and one last beer before bed. My plan was to leave in the morning after breakfast. 

Sovina fed me breakfast (egg and tomato on toast, so simple, so perfect) and plied me with hot coffee before I headed out to pack up the car. The light flurries coming down morphed into heavy, wet flakes by the time I went back inside. At Henry's behest, and with Sovina's blessing, I abandoned my plan to leave. Two bonuses came with this plan: I got to have lunch with my friend Rachel, and I got to go to a birthday gathering at our friend Mike and Tom's. Rachel and I had a deep conversation about living with disabilities that sparked an idea that I'll share with you soon enough. 

At Mike and Tom's, there was a baby convention happening--Micah got to chill with a cool dude and a pretty lady all around the same age as him. I had a brief and awkward fangirl moment when I discovered that the editor-in-chief of a major online magazine was in attendance. 

The next morning, I really did have to leave. The two hour drive is not long, no but just long enough to make me wish I were already home. I resisted the urge to stop at Ikea and instead, pushed southward, the refrain from Homeward Bound playing in my mind as I wound down the country roads that lead back to the cottage on Deer Lane. 

There's nothing like coming home to two excited little girls, one of whom tells you she slept on your side of the bed so she could smell you. Oh, I remember that feeling so well from my own childhood, I do.

A weekend away does a mother good and a sweet homecoming does her even better.