My Writing Process

Sunday, April 13, 2014




I admit, I was surprised when Tamara, my IRL friend and superblogger, asked if I wanted to participate in this blog author tour.

"She thinks I'm a writer? She thinks I'm a writer! Am I a writer?" The pressure was heavy but fleeting, thankfully. 

In her post, Tamara writes about needing permission to call herself a writer, which, of course, she doesn't. But I do! Why am I the exception? Maybe because lately it seems like I do a lot of writing in my head and not actually on paper. There's definitely an element of fear and a lack of self-confidence at play here. This is a post about my writing process and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to answer the questions but I did! 

1. What am I working on?
I am working on a series of interviews featuring mothers with physical disabilities. It is taking me a looooong time but I hope to get it up on my blog in the next few months. But I am also working on being a braver writer. So far, I am not doing great but I'll get there. I know the rewards will be great when I do. 
2. How does my work differ from others in its genre?
Do I have a genre?! I don't know. Is journaling and blogging a genre, like being a diarist or memoirist? I guess my work differs in that I'm very sensitive to how my writing will be perceived by the people I know and love in real life, and that holds me back a lot but hopefully, some of what I've written has substance and meaning. I have always been a writer of few words anyway, way back to high school when Dr. Benton gave me a pass on paper page minimums because I was able to say what I needed to say without hitting the required word count. No flowery language or hyperbole for me! 
3. Why do I write what I do?
I write because I can't hold it all in my head. Most of that stuff is in a notebook, not online. But the stuff that is online, I write and share it because I think people will like to read it, will find it useful, will be interested in it. I write what I do because sometimes thoughts are like demons. You have to let them out, so they won't control you. 
4. How does my writing process work?
When I have an actual assignment and topic to write about, I just sit at my computer and start typing whatever I'm ready to say about it, then I stop and do research as necessary. Sometimes, I have to write on paper and not just any paper. If I'm telling a story, I use my journal. But if I'm pulling information together, or doing a writing prompt, I use a notepad. Don't ask me why! A few months ago, I was tasked with the incredible honor of writing an obituary for a friend's mother and I had to write it on a notepad first. Nothing else would do! 

Sometimes I just start writing in my  head, then I realize that I should probably write it down, which is why I always have a notebook and pen in my bag--sometimes, I have to write at a red light and once, I pulled over!  The other day, I left my bag in the car when I went to a friend's house. I had to rip a page out of a spiral notebook sitting on her counter, when I thought a thought and needed to put it on paper before I lost it. So, head, then paper, then I decide if the thought is going anywhere, if it needs to be elaborated on, and if it needs to be shared. Then, I go from there. Usually, I have to be struck by inspiration. I'm a very undisciplined writer. I have no routine, no rhyme or reason to my writing sessions, which kind of describes my personality, now that I think about it... mmh. 

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I'm passing the baton next week to my internet friend, Thien-Kim, and my IRL friend, NJ. Thien-Kim is the author of I'm Not the Nanny and the editor of my online book club, From Left to Write.  Thien-Kim writes about raising biracial children, and while her experiences are much different from mine, I do relate in some ways, since my children are Jewricans!  NJ is a friend from Western Mass who has found an online home at A Cookie Before Dinner, and has a real knack for keeping it real and not being afraid to share the stuff we never talk about, like dirty cars and droopy drawers. Look for their posts on April 21st! 


It's About Nothing.

Saturday, March 22, 2014



What does it mean to be a writer? How about a blogger? Does being a blogger make you a writer? Not always. A fair amount of bloggers seem to be curators of web content.  Some other bloggers are copywriters-- pushing products and writing reviews. I remember, back in the wee days of the Internet and web blogs, being a blogger meant being brave and pouring your little soul out to whoever came to visit your corner of the Internet. Some of those people are still around; a lot of them have taken their blogs private. I understand that-- it's a much bigger World Wide Web than it used to be. It's a little scary to write for an audience made up of people you know nothing about--that lurk and troll and maybe leave not-so-nice comments.
So if I call myself a writer, and I fancy myself a blogger, where do those two things intersect and at what point should they not intersect? If I'm not willing to pour my soul out, or I'm not brave enough to pour my soul out to everyone in the free world, then why do I have a blog? What's the point? I guess when I first started blogging, I wanted to share a little bit about my life living in Prague, and whatever else my precocious 20 year old self thought was so profound. (I'd give anything to find that blog again... I don't even remember what it was called, just that it was one of those website builder-things called Homestead, which is still around, unbelievably but seems to be more for enterprise users now.)
Then, my blog was about teaching, or that was the idea anyway. Then my blog was about nothing, everything and nothing.  I've had blogs on and off for the past ten years but none of them really went anywhere and I know that it's because of my own ambivalence, my existentialist blogging crisis. There's always been a why, and yet I find myself coming back again and again. For what? Am I talking just for the sake of hearing myself talk? I can do all this in a journal, and I do except that most of what I write in my journal would be too risky to share here. I mean, it would be a big risk on my part, baring my soul to who? You? No offense but who are you?

Sometimes, sharing and re-reading what I've written is like hearing my voice on video...it makes me cringe and say, "God, that's what I sound like!?"

The fact is, if I wanted to have a blog of substance, I have so many things I could write about but it all involves other people and that's where I get wary. What are the limits of sharing, especially when it comes to my children and my family? If I can't get deep and personal out of respect for those closest to me, then my blogging is not genuine, is it? I could write about these things in general and abstract ways but who wants to read that? Not me. I hate vagueblogging! I want details! I know you want details, too! But I worry a lot about what people think. Not just any people but the people I know...you know, IN REAL LIFE. That I see every day or most days. I'm not a touchy-feely person and attention embarrasses me, no matter how positive. Unless it's my birthday or I'm having a baby. In which case, LAVISH attention on me, please!

It's 10:40. This is the latest I've been up in a long, long while. Yes, while I've been away from blogging, I've been crawling into bed by 10, most nights by 9:30. I'm exhausted. My sleep is shot to hell thanks to Micah, who is actually not a bad sleeper but still, the interruptions are taking it's toll on me. I'm looking forward to summer vacation, and not having to be anywhere in the mornings or get anyone ready for anything.
Speaking of summer, it's not nearly here and apparently, neither is Spring but it was nice enough today for this:

I'm going to take this picture and put it in my [metaphorical] pocket and think about it later this week when we get slammed by a Nor'Easter (rumor has it). 

Passing the Liebster Torch

Friday, May 24, 2013


Another part of accepting the Liebster is nominating 11 other bloggers, with less than 200 followers. But, I don't read that many blogs and of the ones I do read, the followship is pretty large. Having said that, I did come up with three blogs that I enjoy reading and that I think have less than 200 followers (though I could be wrong...) and it just so happens that I know all three in real life.
Instead of nominating these bloggers, I'm just going to share them with you, dear reader, and maybe you'll discover some new bloggers to add to your feed, and of course, I would love it if they wrote a post listing 11 things people might not know about them (my favorite kind of meme!).

  1. M. Alynn/Old Soul Life I know and love Michelle in real life! Her husband is an old buddy of my husband. We've crashed with them in Vancouver, and they've crashed with us in NYC. I love Michelle's design aesthetic and I always enjoy reading about her adventures, her life as a student and living in Vancouver. 
  2. Speaking of Vancouverites, this next blogger is a transplant from my hometown and she was actually my camp counselor! Kim Werker is what I would call a professional crafter. She's known in the industry for her work in crochet, but in the past few years, she's written a lot on her blog about creativity, being in the business of creativity and how to carve out a niche for yourself that balances professional success with remaining true to a love of your craft. I am always interested in reading what she has to say. 
  3. Last but not least, is A Cookie Before Dinner, written by my friend NJ. Her blog is honest, painfully so at times, and always thoughtful. Plus her kid is adorable. 
This wraps up my series on the Liebster. Thanks again to Caitlin for nominating me! Her questions gave me a lot to think about, and the challenge of coming up with 11 things people might not know about me was a great writing exercise-- I never realized I had so many potential stories to tell!

PS In case you're curious, the blogs I read daily, or whenever they come up in my reader are:

  1. Cup of Jo
  2. Sweet Fine Day
  3. Dear Baby
  4. Bleubird Vintage
  5. Soulemama
  6. Amalah
  7. Door Sixteen
  8. Marriage Confessions
  9. The Joy of Caitlin
  10. Tamara Like Camera
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