Two Weeks Exactly.

Another birth story to share, again from Documenting Delight. The video is beautiful but the written birth story made me tear up, so read that first:
http://www.documentingdelight.com/2012/08/29/homebirth/

{Some people have asked if I'm planning a home birth. The answer is no. But I like these home birth videos because I labored at home with Stella, and she was born an hour after I arrived at the hospital. It was the best of both worlds, for me.}

When I had Stella, I had no idea what to expect. Though she is my second child, she was my first vaginal birth. I never went into labor with Alice.

I remember my labor with Stella starting out very gradually, with lower back discomfort starting sometime on Friday, then everything increasing over the course of Saturday. Around 7pm, my contractions seemed to be pretty intense so we went into the hospital. After a check, it turned out that I was only 1 cm, so I opted to go back home. But we were back again 4 hours later, and this time, I was 9 cm. My water broke in one big gush while the nurse was trying to strap on a fetal monitor, so they gave up on the monitor and told me that I could push if I felt like it. And boy, did I feel like it. Around midnight, Stella made her entrance, one day before her due date.

This time, I know how uncomfortable labor is, and what to expect in that regard. But will my labor progress the same way? Will I be pregnant right up until my due date or will I go a little early? Or a little late? Will my water break in one big gush again? Will it break early on or right before the birth? Every little twinge I get in my back these days makes me wonder if it's starting.

These questions are driving me nuts, and so I've forced myself to just let it go. I have my bag packed, I have a cover on my mattress, I have a chux pad in the car. That's all I can do. Now, I just have to carry on until showtime. Let go and let God.